Introduction -
The Truth About Relationships
A Simple and Powerfully Effective Way For Everyone to Find Real Love and Loving
Relationships
by Dr. Greg Baer
What do we have in life that's more important than the relationships with the
people around us? But where do we learn how to develop those relationships? Who
sits down with us and teaches us how to share ourselves with other people? We
certainly don't learn it in school. We learn algebra, history, and English
instead. With relationships, we learn by the painful process of trial and error.
Is it then any wonder that we make so many mistakes? It is any surprise that our
relationships fail so often?
Most relationships are doomed from the start. Two people who don't have what
it takes to be happy come together and expect their partner to supply them with
what they need. That's impossible -- two unhappy and incomplete people cannot
make each other happy, nor can they create a fulfilling relationship. But they
still have those unreasonable expectations, and when they don't get what they
want from each other, they become frustrated and angry.
So what's missing? What do we need to be happy? From birth the thing we all
want most is to feel loved. But not just any kind of love will do. We need Real
Love -- unconditional love -- where people care about our happiness with no
thought for what they might get for themselves. It's Real Love when people don't
get disappointed or angry when we make our foolish mistakes, even when we
inconvenience them personally. Very few of us ever got that kind of love.
Instead, people loved us when we were "good," when we did what they wanted us to
do. People smiled at us and praised us when we were clean, quiet, obedient,
grateful, and didn't fight with our sister. But when we made mistakes, made
messes, made too much noise in the car, fought with our sister, got bad grades,
dragged dirt across the clean floor, and were otherwise inconvenient, we didn't
hear the same kind words or see the same smiles that we did when we were good.
Although no one meant to tell us this, we quickly learned that we were loved
conditionally.
Unfortunately, conditional love leaves us feeling empty and alone. It feels
worthless because we have to earn it. In effect, we have to buy conditional love
with our behavior. Without Real Love, we never feel genuinely happy and
complete. We then try to fill our emptiness with money, praise, approval, power,
sex, and other pleasures, but those things never bring us the real happiness
we're looking for. We also establish relationships with people, hoping that they
will bring us the happiness we're missing, but if they don't have Real Love to
offer, they can't help us, either. And we can't bring any genuine happiness into
their lives.
That's why relationships struggle and fail. Two people without Real Love
can't possibly have a truly loving relationship. The Truth About
Relationships teaches us the simple steps that we all can take to find
Real Love and loving relationships.
Continue to:
What Goes Wrong in Relationships
Click
here to purchase Dr. Greg Baer's new book:
Real Love: The Truth About Finding Unconditional Love & Fulfilling Relationships
- Greg Baer, M.D.
The Truth About Relationships- Dr. Greg Baer
Click
here to visit Dr. Greg Baer's website:
Real Love - Dr. Greg Baer, M.D.
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